Why Locke & Key Sucks
Locke & Key. Image courtesy of Netflix.
Last month, Netflix dropped a new series called Locke & Key. It’s based on a comic book of the same name, and it is terrible. It’s basically a pastiche of Harry Potter and Narnia or any story about kids discovering magic while going through puberty really, but done in such a third-rate manner as to be unwatchable.
The only thing this show has going for it, and this is being charitable, is the plot. There is a big Gothic mansion full of magic keys and mysteries, and figuring those out is the only reason this show exists. Because each key has a different magical property it creates the opportunity, if this show had been developed by more talented people, to stage any number of inventive and interesting set pieces. But that’s not really what the show does. Instead, in order to prolong the run time and ensure enough material is left over for a second season, they dole out tiny little pieces of narrative information like Scrooge McDuck hoarding his gold, and fill out the rest of the first 10 episodes with atrocious teen romance and drama filler sub-plots.
This approach might have worked, except that in adding all this unnecessary filler just to prolong the series they forgot to cast good actors or hire good writers who could write competent dialogue and characters. The acting is really just so, so bad in this series. The worst is the character of Tyler, who is simply a terrible character terribly acted. I suspect the actor playing Tyler probably wrote some of the scripts himself in order to ensure that his character hooked up with every girl in the cast. Otherwise why would women be attracted to such an inert lump of flesh? The series cannot answer this question. Nor can it make us even remotely care about any of its characters or their relationships with one another.
The show is in thrall to its plot. But it doesn’t give us enough to satisfy, instead forcing us to spend more and more time with these cretinous characters who behave in the most absurd ways possible simply because the writers were too lazy to think of better ways to connect the narrative tissue. It is agonizingly lazy writing. Like, let’s say there needs to be a show-down between two characters. Instead of thinking up a good reason for these two characters to be in a room together, one will just say something like “Oh gosh I totally forgot an important item precisely in this place where the bad guy is and I must go back and get it even though there is no reason why I’m not carrying it around with me right now.” You know, that kind of thing.
I know that Netflix is searching for another Stranger Things. But this ain’t it. You can’t just put together same of the same parts and expect a similar sleeper hit to emerge without also putting in the leg work of good casting and good writing and good acting. This show is so, so bad and is so obviously longing for a second season that it almost makes me feel bad. It really reminds me of Chambers, another Netflix series with a somewhat intriguing plot that was let down by terrible execution. Ah well, keep trying Netflix. I’m sure after spending a few billion more dollars you’ll get it right eventually!
